I learned a lesson this week. I need to be absolutely clear with my children. I can't beat around the bush. I need to actually make a decision and stick to it. Pushing something to the back of MY mind does not make it go away.
Here is my anecdotal story:
About a week ago, I had this conversation with Katie:
Katie: Mom, I want to make a club with the girls in my class. For the first meeting, I want to make a Christmas present for my teacher. Will you buy a wreath so we can decorate it?
Me: That sounds like a fun idea. When do you want to do it?
Her: Monday, after school.
Me: Ok. Sounds great. I'll buy a wreath for you and supplies to decorate it.
Her: Thanks, mom!
As Friday, nears, I realize things are getting busy for me, and this idea of Katie's sounds like a hassle. And about the same time, our car wouldn't start, and Corwin declared it unfixable-- so I am also without the use of a car, which complicates things drastically.
Me: So, this meeting you're planning? Things are getting kind of crazy. We may have to cancel it or postpone it until later in the week. Maybe Wednesdayish.
(Of course I'm not being very clear or precise because I just want it to go away)
Her: Ok, mom.
So, after this, I think nothing more of this gathering. That is until this conversation Tuesday night, as I'm putting her to bed:
Katie: Logan says he will walk home from school with me tomorrow-- he's the only boy that said he could come. I invited a few boys along with the girls.
Me (surprised): Wait a minute! Why are people coming over? What's going on?
Her: For my party mom! I told everybody it would be until 5:30 (right in the middle of dinnertime). You said we were going to do it on Wednesday. You were going to buy a wreath. You didn't get one?
Me: No, I haven't had a car, and I didn't know you were still planning it. I'll have to figure out if I can get supplies and stuff. Let me think. I may be able to walk to the dollar store tomorrow and get stuff. I don't know. You may have to cancel it altogether. I'll see what I can do and let you know in the morning.
In the end, I was able to get some supplies, I emailed her classmates' parents to make a formal invitation-- late notice though it was (and I really hate to inform people of stuff at the last minute). A few people showed up, we had a nice gathering and a wreath was simply decorated with pony bead bells and pipe cleaner candy canes.
It was rather stressful for me, but it was good for Katie. She had fun, and I think it is important that she be able to invite other kids over once in a while and actually plan things herself. She really is a good planner and a good people person. It is a blessing to me to see my kids develop their many talents. When I am caught up in my day to day, I don't always take the time to notice what my children are good at, help them strengthen their skill set, or just let them have fun-- and when I take the time, sometimes all three happen at once.